Valentine Etiquette
When I was growing up, I used to think that Valentine’s Day was exclusive for lovers. Yes, it is a special day where you have the chance to express deep sentiments, but it also applies to those who make a difference to you at work. What better way to begin by letting others know how much you appreciate their work, their attitude and their commitment. Even if you pride yourself as a communication guru in the corporate arena, it does not necessarily transfer to demonstrating warmth and gratitude.
This eletter will address how to give and receive genuine compliments; ‘faux pas’ to avoid if you are bringing Valentine cheer to the office and some dining etiquette tips for making an outstanding impression. My hope is that this year will be special for you and that you know how special you are to others.
Valentine's Day Etiquette in the Workplace
Inappropriate behavior can have a negative impact on your career. Sometimes you may believe that an innocent gesture of good will was fine but then the other person reacted strangely. Here are some guidelines on how to be professional and avoid embarrassing situations.
- Your boss should never be your Valentine! Don’t send your boss a Valentine’s card as it might be misinterpreted.
- Consider that giving a present in any form, be it flowers, balloons or chocolates at the office for all to see can easily be misinterpreted and open to gossip. Keep it private and send it to their home.
- Just because it’s Valentine's Day, don’t broadcast your relationship or share confidential info about it to others. Even if your company takes a liberal view of office romance, it just isn’t professional to share details.
- Email is not private. Sending a Valentine to a colleague on email may be misconstrued.
- Don’t email Valentine cards to the masses showing your buddy list of 400 with their email addresses. Besides, how personal is an e-card anyhow?
- Never send an unsigned Valentine’s Day card to a coworker. Being a secret admirer is not a corporate concept.
- Not everyone acknowledges Valentine’s Day. Be sensitive to those who are without a partner.
- Bring in home baked cookies or place a candy dish on your desk filled with favorite treats for all.
How to give a compliment sincerely with a gift
This is a great time to recognize the efforts and actions of your direct reports, colleagues and boss. I know that it’s easy to overlook what someone is doing when it is their job. However, there are many times when they go above and beyond the call of duty to satisfy your needs. Tell them specifically why you are complimenting them:
“Susan, you did a terrific job last week preparing that report. It was concise and factual and you saved me hours of time. Here’s a small token of my appreciation. Enjoy these chocolates on Valentine’s Day.”
How to receive a compliment graciously
Tell the other person how the compliment made you feel. Express your appreciation. It’s not vanity to accept and appreciate a compliment. It honors the person who gave it to you. I see it as a gift that honors others.
Don’t negate the compliment with false modesty as it’s calling into question another person’s judgment.
Don’t automatically respond with a compliment in return. Piggybacking off another compliment will dilute the impact of even a sincere comment. Wait until a more appropriate time to give someone else a compliment.
Corporate Dining Etiquette:
Valentine's Day is a time where your manners will be tested. It’s a great opportunity to lunch with clients or colleagues. To avoid the gamut of potential etiquette pitfalls, read below to elevate your impact. Remember that you are always being judged and how you conduct yourself socially counts big time!!!
Preparation:
- As a host, do your homework. If you are taking a client out for lunch, inquiring beforehand what the specialties are helps you to make informed recommendations
- If you are hosting the meal, prepaying the bill is a courtesy that your guest(s) will appreciate. Arrive at the restaurant ahead of time to make the payment and tipping arrangements on your credit card. In this way, when the meal is over, your guest(s) do not have to wait. On the way out of the restaurant, you can pick up your receipt or arrange to have it mailed to you. If you do not want to prepay, make sure that the waiter knows that the bill comes to you.
- If you client orders an appetizer or a soup, you should as well so that he or she is not eating alone.
Courtesy rules:
As a guest, ask the host what he or she recommends. The suggestions will give you some idea of the appropriate price points. Never order the most expensive or the least expensive dish on the menu. A mid-priced entrée is always in good taste.
- No Blackberry or cell phones! If you must, hide them from your guest(s). Eating while glancing at those necessary evils demonstrates that you are not truly present.
- Have one glass of wine or cocktail but avoid over indulging.
- If you order a dessert, it will give you more time to talk. If your guest is on time restraints, he or she might not appreciate your indulgence.
- Your bread plate is always on the left. Never cut your roll. Tear off bite size pieces – no more than two at a time.
- Put enough butter in your butter plate before you begin eating.
- Your water and wine glass are always on the right.
- Salt and pepper are married and passed together, even if your guest only asks for the salt.
- Do not sling your tie over your shoulder. Keep your jacket on during the meal in formal situations or follow the lead from your host.
- Put your napkin over both knees, not just one.
- Spaghetti is never cut. Twirl a couple of strands with your spoon.
- If you excuse yourself from the table temporarily, you need not announce where you are going—simply say, "Excuse me." Place your napkin on the arm of the chair, never back on the table.
- When you are finished eating, place your napkin on the table to the left after all plates have been removed.
- If you can't figure out which utensil to use, a rule of thumb is to use utensils from the outside in.
- Food is always passed to the right, counterclockwise.
- Eating from someone’s plate without permission can be very rude.
- Skip chewing on the toothpick when walking out the door—not a polished gesture!
I wish you a joyful Valentine’s Day celebration. Remember that there should be “no guilt” for the chocolate consumed on this special day. Besides, isn’t dark chocolate healthy?
Warmly,
Roz Usheroff
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