THE USHEROFF INSTITUTE

Intro Prologue:

Business communication used to involve a simple choice between a meeting, a phone call or a letter. But technology has changed all that. Now we have e-mail, voice mail, fax, conference calling, and even more variations! What mode of communication should you use for what purpose, and how does your choice affect the impression you're making?

UNDERSTANDING THE COMMUNICATION "GAP"

Remember when working life was simple? All you had to check was your incoming mail (as in post office) and maybe a handful of handwritten phone messages on little pink sheets - remember those? Now you've got to respond to your e-mail, your voice mail, your shared electronic schedule with integrated to-do list, and so on and so on.

Electronic communication isn't always a nightmare, but is often frustrating. A few months ago, I wanted to get in touch with a colleague in another city. I tried calling several times, and got voice mail. His greeting never changed, and I thought maybe he was away on business or on vacation.

E-mails didn't work either. Finally, I called one early morning and he picked up. "I've been trying to reach you for a couple of weeks," I said, barely able to hide my frustration. "I know," he said sheepishly, "and I apologize. I get about a hundred e-mail and voice mail messages every day, and I can't get to them all. I wouldn't have time to do anything else!"

Wow. What can you say to that? When it comes to communication, technology has given us a blessing and a curse. 'Instant' electronic communications can improve our productivity, but only to the point where we become swamped and unable to respond. That's the communication gap - that widening period of time between the electronic message and our ability to respond.

This incident made me really think. Do we have to be frustrated with communicating these days, or could we do it better? And how do we manage our 'personal brand' in an age of electronic communications?

THE ANATOMY OF A COMMUNICATION

In the 1990s the service industry developed a quality theory known as 'moments of truth'. It says that every contact with a customer, from the first telephone inquiry to an estimate to the service experience and even the invoice afterwards, was a 'moment of truth' that could be handled well, or handled poorly. The outcomes determined whether a company would ultimately keep or lose that customer.

This interesting concept can be extended to include colleagues as well as customers. You may not risk 'losing' a colleague or an associate as you could a customer, but you can certainly lose their attention and your credibility through careless communication. Are we communicating within our own comfort zone, without thinking about the preferences of the other person? Are we communicating in ways that damage our personal images and reputations?

Which brings me back to my experience with my colleague. What could I have done?

Well, I could have done sooner what I ultimately did - pick a strategic time of day to call. Or I could have been very specific in my e-mail and voice mail messages, making a response more obvious and easy. I could have 'zeroed out' of voice mail and spoken with an administrative assistant to book a telephone appointment.

Now that I know his predicament, I could simply ask him, "What's the best way to get hold of you? What do you like best?"

If I do any or all of these things, I gain two benefits. First, I get a faster response. Second, I make a favorable impression that will probably be reciprocated.

MODES AND MESSAGES

The opposite of guest behavior is 'host behavior'. A host makes people feel welcome, comfortable, and important. A host believes in the 'Platinum Rule': to treat others the way they expect to be treated. Hosts know that if they embarrass a guest or make them wrong, no one wins.

When you're exhibiting host behavior in a meeting, you seek to create a non-threatening environment that encourages others to respond. You ask questions with sincerity, respect and genuine interest. You support other members of your team by saying things like, "Let's hear what Pam has to say about this. She usually has some interesting perspectives."

Or, if you are at odds with your colleague's thinking, you might phrase it this way: "John, I think your idea has something to it. Can we run with it a bit…?" You are not afraid to speak the truth, but you are always fair and diplomatic when you have something to say.

How Host Behavior Ensures "First Class" Treatment

Personal

Not long ago, I was invited to meet with a prospective supplier at their offices. I was there on time, but their party straggled in over the next 45 minutes. It made me feel very insignificant and, as we didn't even have a business relationship yet, I chose not to start one.

Effective meetings include basic respect for all the participants. People like to poke fun at meetings, but they are still the mainstay of the business world. Face to face, you have several advantages: the warmth of a handshake, facial expression, body language, tone of voice and the opportunity to solidify relationships.

Choose a meeting to communicate when you have long or complex business to discuss, when you need input or consensus from a group, or you want maximum influence. To make business meetings more effective, you should:

• Send out an agenda prior to the meeting, and never stray too far from it.
• Specify a start and finish time, and stick to them.
• Turn off the cell phones!
• Schedule meetings where there's less chance of being interrupted (like a meeting room) or in someone else's office, where you won't have to enforce the finish time.
• Book meetings at breakfast or end-of-day when people tend to be more conscious of time.
• Get things done using informal meetings, say, in the company cafeteria or even encounters in the hallway.

Telephone calls

Answering the phone is a reactive behavior, and more people are beginning to treat the phone as an unwelcome interruption. In many ways this is a shame, because the immediacy and personal touch of a 'live' phone conversation can outweigh the inconveniences in many cases.

In my business, I have found that telephone conversation really helps solidify relationships when distance prevents face-to-face contact. Because of my extensive travel, Jan, my business manager schedules telephone appointments. Jan takes great pride and care in her role as the 'ambassador' for the Usheroff Institute, and everybody tells me how pleasant she is. Our planning helps me avoid telephone tag, and people can count on personal service when they call my office.

Generally speaking, choose a phone call to communicate when distance prevents a meeting, when you need immediate action, agreement or approval, or when you want to help anchor a business relationship. Some telephone tips:

• Plan phone calls like you would plan a meeting, especially long-distance. Call the person's admin assistant to book a telephone appointment, and ask to be their first call of the morning.
• Use an e-mail message to set up a phone call, e.g. "Please give me a call. It would be the fastest way to deal with this."
• If your call is unscheduled, ask if it's a convenient time to speak.
• Much like a meeting, have an agenda in mind that is covered by the end of the conversation.
• Begin with a friendly but brief greeting, and then get straight to the point.

Voice mail

Voice mail is common these days - mostly because people don't like to be trapped in their offices and/or interrupted by the phone. Like most tools, voice mail can be effective when used well, and a pain when used badly.

One day, I had an opportunity to watch a corporate CEO get his voice mail messages. He kept on pushing one of the keys on his phone, and I asked him why. Fast-forwarding, he said. He expressed frustration at people who wasted his time by sending verbose voice-mail messages. The people who buried their key message in the last sentence never gave themselves the chance to be heard, I thought.

• These days, you reach voice mail in about nine of every ten calls. So prepare for it:
• Always be ready to leave a message, and a succinct message that enables the listener to take action.
• Begin with the end in mind. State your purpose early on.
• Open with a warm hello and a brief personal comment that leaves an impression of your personality.
• Always leave your phone number at the end of your message for convenience and say it slowly, please.
• Speak like you're giving a presentation, by covering points. Watch the 'ands' and 'ums'.
• After hours, consider sending a voice mail message instead of an e-mail. It's a little more personal, and generally a higher priority!

E-mail

E-mail is a curious tool. On one hand, it provides a written, printable and file-able record of your communication. On the other hand, writing and typing e-mails can be more time-consuming than any other form of communication except a letter!

E-mail can be risky too. Just after the September 11th tragedy, I received an e-mail from a distant acquaintance that commented on the event, but also included a lengthy promotional message. I was truly upset. I sent a reply saying how insensitive he was to use a disaster like this to promote his business. He must have received a few replies like this, because of what he did next. Taking excerpts out of context from my reply and others, he fabricated another e-mail that made us appear insensitive to the event! And he sent it to 5000 people! I consulted my lawyer, who advised me not to pursue damages. He said, "Just never write down anything you don't want 5000 people to hear." And that's true, as both Microsoft and Enron have recently discovered.

Some e-mail pointers:

• Don't ever write in a fit of emotion.
• Keep your messages brief and to the point.
• Don't c.c. everyone in the office, and restrict your replies and forwards to the select few most involved.
• Include a proper opening and closing, like a letter.
• Avoid writing in all-caps (it can appear confrontational).
• Always include a subject heading, and update it if necessary in replies and forwards.
• Be conscious of your writing skills. You can be embarrassed by a poorly written message.
• Don't let e-mail indulge your shy streak, and help you hide in your office all day. Get around and meet people, and use the phone as well.
• Speak to colleagues personally if they're close by, rather than sending an e-mail.

In the business world, communication is something we take for granted. Yet so much of the impression we make, and the success we experience, relates to how well we communicate!
Every communication really is a 'moment of truth', and the people who understand that will reap the benefits.