THE USHEROFF INSTITUTE

Business entertaining has become an important way to nurture relationships in the business world. Many companies find that demonstrating appreciation by entertaining clients away from the office builds stronger bondsbonds that lead to greater loyalty and higher sales. Successful business entertaining is a gentle art, but never underestimate its power.

The ABCs Of Business Entertaining

When new executives are hired today, they are often wined and dined-and not just to win them over. On the contrary, the prospective employer wants a good look at the candidate's:

    1. social skills
    2. conversational ability
    3. dining etiquette

Why? Companies want their executives to enhance the corporate image by making a favourable impression on valued customers. Organizations expect their senior people to perform even in pressure situations, handling themselves with unusual poise and decorum. In fact, they expect a high standard of business etiquette from any employee who has contact with clients.

Business etiquette is something people might consider superficial, but it's not. Refined manners create a protocol for conducting business with ease and respect. One obvious illustration is political diplomacy, where success is firmly rooted in protocol. Smarts in this department may not open the door to the presidential suite, but it can help get you noticed.

Here's an example of someone who was noticed-for the wrong reasons. John, an American, was working in Europe for an international investment firm. He spoke five languages and had an excellent track record. Eventually, he was summoned to interview for the CFO position back at U.S. headquarters.

Upon arrival in Dallas, John was ushered immediately into a luncheon meeting with the President and three senior executives. The following week, John was deflated to learn that he would not be considered for the promotion. Although he was technically brilliant, his dining etiquette was below executive standards and needed 'polishing up'.

I worked with John on this issue, and he was in fact promoted six months later. Does this sound petty? Absolutely not! The social graces are not taught in business school, unfortunately, but it doesn't make them any less valuable in the real world. This particular gap in your education may be holding you back. It may be hindering your career without your knowledge!

Stand Out And Be Noticed:

Over the years, I have found that even an hour spent dining at a restaurant with a client strengthens the relationship. The ambiance, often lacking in sterile offices, contributes to instant rapport. While food may be the centerpiece, the main course is really the business agenda.

The personal touch helps you stand out and be noticed. Although the economy is slow and times may be tough, your ability to distinguish yourself from your colleagues and/or competition can only help.

Here are some practical tips on dining etiquette:

Become a Master at Host Behavior:
Host behavior is the attitude you naturally adopt when you have invited people over to your house. You take the coats, get the drinks, prepare the food, and generally make people feel comfortable. Adopt the same attitude when you invite a client or colleague out to lunch. Be responsible for every detail of the experience, including invitations, reservations, transportation, parking, table and seating selection, as well as tipping.
Although there are several business etiquette 'do's and don'ts', some of which I'll review, you should allow yourself to experiment. To work on your skills, invite some associates or colleagues to lunch. Don't wait to polish up your dining skills when the pressure's on. Playing catch-up when the 'camera's on' can be unnerving.

Be Selective When Choosing a Restaurant:
If you have the opportunity, choose a restaurant where you are known. Not only will you receive better service and table selection, but you'll also impress your guest(s) when the maitre d' greets you by name. Underlying tip: get to know the staff at a good local restaurant.
Don't make your guest drive a long way to the restaurant you've chosen. And, when you're making reservations, ask for a secluded table far away from the entrance, washrooms and kitchen.

Be Proactive:
If possible, make the reservations in person a few days in advance and introduce yourself to the maitre d'. You can then pre-select a choice table, preview the wine list, learn about specialties of the house, etc.
You can even ask to prepare advance payment of the check if you know and trust the people at the restaurant. The manager can make an imprint of your credit card and hold onto it for your signature after the meal. Or you can sign it immediately, ask that the customary gratuity be added, and have the restaurant mail you the receipt. Remember-due to credit card fraud and identity theft, you must be able to trust the restaurant staff.

Prepayment enables you to focus full attention on your guest(s), and leave as soon as the meal is finished if necessary. It also avoids embarrassing 'competition' for the check after the meal. Explain that you appreciated the time your guest took out from their busy schedule to meet with you. You took the liberty to prepay the bill to save time. Imagine how important you will make your guest feel!

Treat Your Guests With Respect:
Confirm with your guest earlier in the day, and leave your mobile number in case a last-minute problem should prevent them from coming. Show up fifteen minutes before your guest to make sure your requested arrangements are in place. This is a good time to 'prepay' the bill if you wish.
If you must be late, call the maitre d' and ask that your guest be seated. Have the maitre d' apologize on your behalf and offer to serve a beverage while they are waiting.

If your guest is late, wait 15 minutes before calling. If you can't get through, you should wait at least 30 minutes before you decide to leave. While you are waiting at the table, leave your napkin folded and don't order anything other than water. This lets your guest know that you had the courtesy to wait.
En route to your table together, your guest should walk ahead of you. Allow the maitre d' to seat your guest first, in the best seat. If there is more than one guest, the most important guest should sit to your right. Your second most important guest will be seated to your left. Sit down only after your guests are seated.
When a guest arrives at a table where you are seated, it is customary to stand and greet that guest if you are a man. Although this is not traditionally expected of a woman, it is an option.

Treat Your Guests Like Royalty:
Let your guest order a beverage first-alcoholic or non-alcoholic. You should then order one, but it doesn't have to be alcoholic to 'follow suit'.

Engage in small talk for about five to ten minutes before you ask for a menu. If you know the restaurant, use your knowledge to suggest specialties; otherwise, ask the server for suggestions. Order an appetizer if your guest does so he or she won't have to eat alone. Match their pace of eating so courses are finished at about the same time (obviously, this doesn't apply if they eat like it's their last meal!)

Quietly let the server know that you are the host. This means that your guest orders first and is served first; and the check, if not prepaid, comes to you.

Know When to Discuss Business:
After you have placed your orders, it's time to talk business until the food arrives. Keep your agenda focused on one or two items. Shift back to non-business topics during the meal (never discuss business while you are eating) and return to business over coffee.
Unless you both agreed to discuss business ahead of time, let your guest be the one to initiate it. Make the experience as social as possible. If you do talk business, keep it short and sweet.
Breakfasts are accepted business meals with minimal small talk Lunch is a combination of pleasure and business talk Dinner is purely social and generally free of business talk.

Do your homework:
Your experience will be much more enjoyable and fruitful if your guests have a good time. Ask open-ended leading questions so they can discuss topics of their particular interest.
Don't ask probing questions within such potential minefields as marital status, weight, or finances. And that old adage-stay away from politics, race and religion-still rings true. Even topics like crime, war, etc. can put a damper on the experience. Remember too that a steady diet of sports banter can make some fed up.

There are two absolutes about small talk:

• The more you share on a personal level (not including private information), the stronger your relationship can be.
• The faster you identify common interests, the easier your rapport will come.
  Let your conversation send the message that you are genuinely interested in your guest, not just your business objectives.

Be Generous When Tipping:
Most people tip between fifteen or twenty percent of the total bill (before taxes). But remember that tips are based on the quality of service. When the maitre d' seats you at a special table, you can give him/her an additional $10 or $20. Give the coatroom attendant $1.00 for the first coat and $.50 for each additional coat. Make sure you pay to check your guest's coat.

After All:
You may want to make a few notes in your Palm Pilot or on the back of their business card after your guest leaves; for instance, something your guest said or ordered may help you choose an ideal business gift next Christmas. You can also send a brief note to thank your guest for joining you, and adding a brief reference from your conversation makes it more personal.

E-mail messages will never replace the impact of a handwritten note. Invest in a fountain pen to project an image of refined elegance. Fountain pens are well worth the investment.

Quick Tips

• Entertaining is always an appropriate way to thank a customer. However, it is not appropriate to entertain people who have your proposal on their desks.
• Vary your selection of restaurants. It's embarrassing to be out with a customer and run into another customer you recently took to the same restaurant.
• Dress appropriately. Don't dress like you just arrived from the cottage. Even when casual is appropriate, show your guest you cared enough to look presentable.
• Turn your mobile phone and pager off. Host behavior means you make your guest feel like the most important person of the moment. If you must leave the phone on, explain that you are expecting an urgent call. As soon as that call rings in, quietly excuse yourself and find a secluded spot to talk.
• Keep your elbows off the table! Hands do not have to rest in your lap. It's perfectly appropriate to rest your wrists or forearms on the edge of the table. At the end of the meal, when the dishes have been cleared, you may put your elbows on the table.
• Order food you can eat without gymnastics. Ribs, wings, spaghetti, corn on the cob, crab legs, etc. require too much concentration, effort and wet-naps.

Be Memorable:
What happens if you forget one or two of these 'rules', or make a dreaded faux-pas? Don't be too concerned-we all make mistakes. But by the same token, remember that the social graces in general are appreciated.
Think of dining etiquette not as a 'performance', but as a civilized art to be cultivated. You never know what opportunities await you in your career-or who may be paying attention.

I wish you continued success and splendid dining.

Roz

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