THE POWER of Protocol Intelligence

Did you know...

Did you know that 85% of your professional success is determined by your ability to communicate effectively with others? The impact of your message is measured by something called "protocol intelligence," basically, the tone in which and appropriateness with which you interact. Have you ever been accused of the following? "It’s not what you said but how you said it!"

memory lane

Back in the day, we pounded out a half dozen pages of copy on a pre-IBM Selectric only to have a boss cut one sentence in the third paragraph on page one. Then, it was back to the old typewriter, repounding those six pages in preparation for the client edits.

We used telephones then, clunky, funky black jobs with rotary dialing. And of course, there was nothing so newfangled as the fax machine. Then computers came along and many weren’t even sure they were here to stay.

corporate reality

Today we live in the golden day of gadgets. We have cell phones ringing in meetings, and digital assistants lighting up simultaneously. We are being diagnosed with Blackberry Thumb; the coolest new version of carpal tunnel syndrome. Stress is building as we become burdened by keeping inventory of not only our Blackberrys but MP3s, iPods and cell phones, insanely small and totally losable repositories of tons of songs, information and directories.

Demands are becoming insane. It’s nanosecond-to-nanosecond communications we’re talking about here. And it’s expected that we reply to emails and text messaging immediately. This is the age of endless connectedness, much of it necessary and productive, but at a high price of stress and unrealistic expectations. We can no longer play hide and seek. 

The Price of Technology

As a result, we have fallen victim to unimaginably bad etiquette spawned by this new movement. Many clients seek my counsel to help them deal with employees who are demonstrating discourteous behavior and habits, often unconsciously. This can be disastrous in our business lives and even our personal lives. Recently, a client’s wife told me that she gave her husband the final ultimatum while celebrating their 10th anniversary at a romantic restaurant on a Saturday night. She described the familiar scene - the Blackberry resting conspicuously on the table between them. Her reply: “Honey, it’s come down to this: Blackberry or me!” Another client, while delivering a quarterly update to his Board, became distracted by a member who was visibly replying to emails at the same time.

It’s time to put more thought into and more of a premium on each communication—as if every message we communicate is really important and truly does matter. Imagine you’re being judged by each message you send—because you are. There are do’s and don’ts accompanying the world of Blackberrying, voicemailing and e-mailing, and they’re really just good old common sense. The don’ts not only obstruct the do’s, but they get in the way of relationships, arrangements and progress. Here are some observations to help you communicate sensibly, purposefully and civilly.

Blackberry Rules

• Blackberries can never replace human connection. Make the effort to nurture relationships in the cafeteria, hallways or showing up early for a meeting to make small talk.
• Sitting next door to a colleague while emailing this person is akin to saying that they aren’t important enough to get out of your chair to connect.
• Blackberries, on their simplest level, are cell phones. Remember the basics of cell phone politeness, and apply them equally here.
• In meetings, turn off the message and phone notification, both audible and vibrate. Better yet, if you can do without those, turn it off, period.
• Placing your Blackberry in a pocket/purse or at least face down on the table shows those with whom you’re meeting that you’re paying attention to them.
• If you’re on standby for a crucial message—say so (apologetically) to others first, then put it on vibrate only.
• In urgent situations, you can still be respectful. Dismiss yourself from the meeting for a few minutes to respond to your message.
• Don’t assume the recipient of each of your messages will manage their time in the same way as you do. They may not check and respond to your message urgently, or at all.
• However small/large your fingers, the Blackberry keyboard is harder to navigate. So don’t hit Send before checking your message…twice. 

Voicemail Rules for You the Caller:

• Plan ahead. Rehearse what you’ll say—especially when you already know that the callee never answers live, or that you’ll get one of those 30-second tapes.
• Be sensitive to when you leave voice mails. Your leaving an incoherent, 1:19 a.m. voice mail will impact on your credibility.
• Give name, rank, serial number, day/date and time right up front.
• Briefly, state the reason for your call. Suggest a best time to call you back.
• If it’s just an answer or a confirmation you need, say so and avoid a round of phone tag.
• E-N-U-N-C-I-A-T-E. Speak clearly. If your name is difficult to pronounce, say it slowly or spell it out.
• When leaving your phone number, remember, not everyone has a pen handy. Pause in case they need to find one, then say it slowly, and repeat.
• Ideally, always stand when leaving a voicemail, especially if you sense that you are at all nervous. You’ll breathe more naturally, deliver more confidently and speak louder.
• If your message is urgent, say so; otherwise, say you’d appreciate a call back at their earliest convenience.
• Imagine that the callee is checking his voicemail via his cell phone while boarding a plane. Be succinct. Using a friendly tone, deliver a lengthy message in bullet points. You’ll eliminate “umming” and eliminate the frustration of long-winded messages.
• Given the option, listen to the message you’ve just left, then record a new one half that long.
• Unless urgent, Do NOT call again a day or two later and repeat the message. Gauge how soon the callee might return your call, and pad that.
• Depending on the relationship, back up your voicemail with an email at the appropriate interval. Or use the voicemail just to announce the email, especially if you’re delivering detailed information.

Voicemail Rules for You the Callee:

• Make your greeting short’n’sweet, 15 seconds max. Your caller is interested in what she, not you, has to say.
• Do not give people multiple choice greetings. Whether in a meeting or on another call, simply say that you are unavailable to receive their call.
• Return calls—or at least screen them—as quickly as possible. A quick call back on a business matter is not just appropriate, it’s courteous.
• If you announce in your message that you will call back within 24 hours, honor that commitment.
• If you change your message daily, where possible, leave timeframes for when you will be available to be reached.
• Avoid using an automatic message. You have a personality and an M.O. Demonstrate to others that you are approachable.
• Make your message inviting in tone. Smiling as you record your message works wonders on your inflection.
• Don’t initiate a time for someone to call you back and then have it still forwarded to some unknown person answering your calls.
• Though caller ID is invaluable for screening unwanted calls, don’t hide behind your voicemail message and become known as the person who never answers.
• Don’t use voicemail to avoid people with whom you must do business. Face-to-face is virtually always better. And then there’s no wait.
• When you’ll be away from the office for two weeks, record a message that says so, with return date and person to contact for assistance or in an emergency.
• Immediately upon returning, re-record your message. To ensure this, leave yourself a note on your appointment calendar.
• Never, ever, in this lifetime let your message box become full and your automatic message say as much. It demonstrates disorganization.

Email Rules for You the Emailer:

• Honor the subject line. Help the recipient distinguish your message from spam. Doing so invites response.
• Cold selling via email is usually fruitless, offensive and ignored. Don’t do it.
• Use an automatically inserted “signature” following your message. Include all necessary response options, plus your website at the bottom.
• Don’t get tricky with fonts and doodads. Don’t design. Don’t use capital letters throughout, which make for a difficult if not offputting read. (Use of upper-case words is the equivalent of shouting in some one's ear.)
• Be brief. Just as in voicemail, don’t ramble or digress. Say what you need to say only, especially when your message may be read on a Blackberry.
• Consider who you need to copy on a message, and make sure you know when to cc: vs. when to bcc: (blind copy). This can be a sensitive area.
• Careful about appearing political by forwarding emails to senior people without necessity.
• Think twice before sending a copy to someone’s boss that might be misconstrued that the individual is not meeting obligations, etc.
• Never compose your message in anger, or even in agitation. If you just have, check it once, save it, and revisit it 24 hours later before sending.
• Never assume your message has been received, let alone acted upon. Confirm receipt either through the “receipt requested” option or within your context.
• If attaching a document, mention it in your email to remind yourself. Otherwise, chances are good you will forget, and a 2nd “whoops” message with the attachment is sloppy. Better yet, take care of the attachment first before even composing your message.
• Speaking of checking, scrutinize your message for accuracy, grammar, spelling, etc. before sending. To your recipient, you are the message you send.

Email Rules for You the Emailee:

• Based on the significance of email in your job, determine how often you need to check messages, set a schedule and stick to it.
• Respond as quickly, thoroughly and courteously as possible.
• Download attachments to the appropriate folder before deleting a message.
• Create client folders for storing messages you’ll need to reference later.
• When responding to a message copied to others, consciously decide whether to “reply” to sender only or “reply to all” based on need for all to know.
• If the subject line and sender name mean nothing to you, delete immediately.
• As with voicemailing, when you’ll be away from the office for two weeks with no access to email, create a vacation message informing emailers so. Refer them elsewhere as appropriate.

That’s Enough Rules and Regulations for Now

Enough said about the do’s and don’ts of everyday communicating. Just remember that there is absolutely, positively no substitute for good old-fashioned, face-to-face communicating. Eye contact and body language are huge, as is “the moment.” So keep it as direct and truly interpersonal as possible.

Please take those extra steps to show that you value relationships with others. The investment you take to communicate in person or over the phone will pay back huge dividends in the future. Treat others like guests in your home. Demonstrate respect, sensitivity and appreciation for their needs and styles. You will be surprised how kindness is reciprocated.

I welcome any feedback on this eletter. Please feel free to pass along to colleagues, associates and others.

Happy Holidays,

A special thanks to both Kent Wiggs and Brooke Wiseman of Daiichi Sankyo for their contribution.